Baby Stay Asleep

One month ago I left for a two week combination trip; three nights in New Orleans for a bachelor party JazzFest, followed by a five hour layover in Orlando, then a ten day work trip to India. Two nights before that trip, to which friends and co-workers alike agreed "what kind of new mother let's her husband do that kind of thing" (Answer:An awesome one), we tried a new contraption in the infant's bed.

Based on mild some digestive and/or acid reflux types of issues, we had the little one sleeping on a wedge that was placed under the sheet in her crib. The issue was that she would very quickly wiggle her way down and either restlessly sleep on the horizontal plane or get her feet stuck in the slats in the crib, inevitably waking herself up. A solution a friend recommended (everyone always has a recommendation, which I guess I do now as well which is kind of the point of this post) was a thing called a "Baby Stay Asleep". I'm going to be honest, it looks like some sort of baby restraining device more fit for a mental institution (albeit a very low-risk institution as there is only velcro and no straps and buckles).

It's a fitted sheet that has a velcro harness like contraption sewed to it, so the baby can't slide around and bumpers on the side so the kid can't roll over (or at least that's what their advertisement says, though I would think the velcro harness serves that purpose as well).

I felt bad the first night we placed her in it. I felt a lot better the next morning when I realized I hadn't been awakened. Seven hours of bliss. She had gone, at most, five hours in the crib prior to this. Over the next two weeks, while I was gone and as she went back to work (when Lauren hit 12 weeks old), the Baby Stay Asleep continued to work its wonders. In the month that we've used it, she's woken up before 6am a grand total of one time. Part of this may be the fact that she's aging and I'm sure we're creating an issue for the time that comes when it's no longer socially acceptable to velcro strap your child to a bed; however, for the time being, who cares? Our baby stays asleep with the Baby Stay Asleep.

Diagnosis: Temperamental

After numerous trips to the doctor with queries about stomach issues, colic, and acid reflux, we had a second doctor in the practice take a look at little Lauren today. His professional opinion and diagnosis? After Lindsay regurgitated Lauren's entire medical history (which in nine weeks is far longer than my own personal medical history over the past 20 years - yep, I'm one of those many people with health insurance that subsidizes all the other people that actually use the group policy), the doctor came to a startling conclusion and diagnosis: It might just be possible that we have a "temperamental" child.

While I'm sure there's a reason for her discomfort and we'll obviously continue to try different things to figure out the cause, it was actually a little refreshing to hear a diagnosis so simple as that. And how has Lauren reacted to the news? Sleep. Finally. It's the first evening in recent memory that we've had time to clean up the house, get somewhat organized, and write a little bit. Of course, as I type this, she's sleeping with a bit of a smirk on her face as if to say, "enjoy it while you can, buddy, but be warned; because when it goes bad, it's going to go BAD."

She's actually been fairly decent at sleeping in the night. Sure, she still gets up at least once at a time that a normal person would consider ill-opportune, but for the most part during the middle of the night she basically wakes up, gets changed, eats, stays upright long enough so as to not get the hiccups, and dutifully falls back asleep. It could be a lot worse. And it is, during the days. I was under the impression that the only cohort that sleeps longer than infants is college students. While it might be the case, not with my infant. It's one of the many times I've heard the phrase, "every baby is different," over the past 63 days.

Regardless, tonight marks the night we're changing sleeping arrangements. For the first seven weeks, Lauren slept in the pack-and-play next to our bed, which if not for the University of South Florida (located in Tampa) would be the most misnamed noun in the world as it neither easily packs nor seems like a cool place to play. I traveled for business during the eighth week. Lindsay took that opportunity to move Lauren to the nursery and moved herself to the guest room that shares a Jack-and-Jill bathroom with the nursery. Baby steps but steps none the less. When I got home, we stayed in the guest room; partially because it was convenient and partially because while I was away the baby monitor had broken (Lindsay claims she held it next to her iPhone and the monitor "scrambled"; I have no way to confirm or refute this story as she had already contacted the manufacturer and arranged for a new one to be sent up on receipt of the new one). Whatever the case, we didn't have a monitor so we remained in the guest room. Last night, the monitor showed up (OK, in the spirit of full disclosure, it actually showed up like 3 days ago but I was simply too lazy to open it and get it set up until now; like I said, Lauren can be a little high maintenance), so we had one "final" night in the guest room (which was one of her better nights, including a nearly 7 hour window between feeds, which only added to our confidence as new parents and that Lauren (yeah, that's right, Lauren) was ready to be on her own).

Let's just hope the little temperamental one feels the same way.

The Plight of Late Night Feedings

Since I'm working and Lindsay's a saint, she's agreed to do the lone "middle of the night" feeding during the week if I do the bookend feedings adjacent to that crappy middle of the night feeding. It's a fair enough deal (perhaps too fair). Lately, I've found it to be downright comfortable. Why? For once, I'm not complaining about the late start time of live sporting events in the Eastern time zone.

At Lauren's current pace (and her requirement to stay vertical for 30 minutes after feeding to stave off supposed reflux), the entire process takes about an hour from the start of the feed until the time she can realistically be put back down. NCAA tournament games have been lasting until well past midnight which means I can delay that last feeding until 11:00pm or 11:30 to still catch the end of the games guilt free.

Tonight, we're only a few minutes from the start of the US/Mexico World Cup qualifier and she's closing in on four hours. I find myself glancing over her way saying, "stay asleep...stay asleep" so I have an excuse to stay up to watch the game (again, guilt free). In ordinary infant-rearing situations, it would be completely irresponsible for me to forgo an hour of sleep to watch a game if she had already been fed. However, if I know I have to be awake at some point during the game, there's really no point in trying to catch a quick nap, is there? Plus, I can always use the "I was trying to extend the amount of time she could go between feedings" excuse in the event I'm overtired the next day.

Let's just say if you're a dude that lives in the Eastern time zone and anyone ever gives you the choice of months to have an infant in the house, you could do a lot worse than March. Anyway, I need to run...fine, you caught me: I need to make sure I've got a beer in hand for the start of the match.

Quick addendum - Before going outside to get that beer that you want to have in hand for the start of the match, make sure your wife hasn't set the house alarm. On the bright side, Lauren slept through it (Lindsay awoke slightly to very confused). Of course, I might be a little tired. Upon opening the door to get to my beer fridge, I heard an alarm and my initial thought was, "what idiot just set off their house alarm."